Samhain Plans........

Discussions about festivals

Moderator: mrb

Postby Beantighe » Sun Nov 02, 2008 11:38 pm

Greymalkin, I can't do anything on my own, as my hubby's always here and I don't like to do anything while he's around, it just doesn't feel right. And he's usually watching telly, so I don't have the use of the only warm room in the house. At least I could do something when he went out for a few pints on a Friday night, but he doesn't go out any more.

And yes, there are Pagans in my area, but they've proved hostile in the past, and I don't feel like going back for second helpings! There's no way I could stand in Circle and say Perfect Love and Perfect Trust to people I don't even like.

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Postby Greymalkin » Mon Nov 03, 2008 12:16 am

OK. If it's not too personal a question may I ask why you wouldn't feel comfortable doing something while your husband is in?
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Postby Beantighe » Mon Nov 03, 2008 12:40 am

Well, he's not Pagan, and his parents were converted Jehovah's Witnesses :oops: I don't think he ever was one himself, as he said he was what they called 'disfellowshipped' in his mid-teens because he rebelled and ran away from home, but he does seem to have taken on board some of their ideology, for instance he doesn't believe in evolution.

I told him from day one that I was a Pagan, but that seemed to be an invitation to get into deep, convoluted religious arguments - and he can argue the hind leg off a donkey and twist you up in knots! I don't enjoy that kind of arguing, it completely drains me, so he keeps quiet about what he believes, and I keep my beliefs under wraps and don't celebrate openly in front of him, although he doesn't mind me having my witchy pictures and bits and bobs around the house, and will willingly take me to things, as long as he doesn't have to stick around. Most of the time it works fine, but I have to be very subtle when festivals come round.

If I do do anything, it has to be during the day when he's out at work, but I find it's never the same in daylight.

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Postby MISTYCAT » Mon Nov 03, 2008 6:37 am

That's so sad Beantighe, I do feel for you. I find it hard enough to keep the faith going sometimes as I do everything on my own but my husband is supportive even though he doesn't believe in it.

I thought you were friends with Clarysage on here - can you not celebrate festivals together assuming you are both like minded? Of course I don't know geographical distance between you so I'm just assuming here!

There have been some lovely things that others have done on here at Samhain that was special for them - even just stepping out into the garden and gazing at the moon. Could you keep it basic like that and still feel you have done something?

Hope you find a way of working that fits in with everyone. And roll on warmer weather!!
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Postby Greymalkin » Mon Nov 03, 2008 9:54 am

Well said MistyCat.

Doing something for a sabbat doesn't have a grand and elaborate affair. Of course your husband should respect your beliefs and you should feel comfortable to do whatever you wish in your own home - but I understand that's not always possible.

Even if you just get a candle and privately charge it up on honour of the festival and light it, surely he can't complain about a candle.

I always think that people come into your life when you need them and if you're meant to work in a group then one day it will come along.
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Postby Beantighe » Tue Nov 04, 2008 1:39 am

Yes, I'm a firm believer in that, too, Greymalkin. People do seem to appear when you need them, and people also seem to fade away when their job is done.

Yes, Clarysage has been a good friend of mine for nearly 10 years, but she's taken on so much voluntarily over the last couple of years that she hardly ever has time to see me, and even when I do go over to see her, we nearly always get interrupted by someone calling round on spec, or the phone keeps ringing, so we never seem to get much quality time together. I feel really sad about it, as some of the best times I ever had were when we went up the woods to celebrate the festivals with our friend Di. Those were magical times, the three of us were so close, and we used to have such a good time together, and I miss it so much.

Clarysage lives about 7 miles away from me, but it takes an hour to get there by bus, can you believe it?

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Postby Greymalkin » Tue Nov 04, 2008 3:15 am

I think the two of you should make a point of meeting up and doing something.
No phones, no visitors, just a time when two like minded people get together.

I appreciate she does a lot of voluntary work but she really should make some time to celebrate the seasons if that what she wants to do.

There are only eight festivals a year. The world will still need saving after a couple of hours of celebration.

I really hope it all works out for you. I really do.
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Postby Beantighe » Tue Nov 04, 2008 12:19 pm

I hear and agree with everything you say, Greymalkin, and thank you so much for your good wishes.

It certainly isn't for lack of me wanting to that prevents us from getting together. C just seems to have more pressing priorities, and can't seem to master the art of saying No to people. It's true, the more you do for others, the more they expect and the more they pile on you. She's got herself in the position where everybody relies on her to do everything, and when she asks other people to help, they always seem to let her down, so she ends up doing it herself. I'm the world's worst when it comes to being timid and not putting my foot down, but C's never had that problem. She's been told to ease up by many people, including her partner, but with typical Taurean stubbornness she always puts herself last, and I'm sad to say, often me as well. So what can you do? [smilie=eusa_wall.gif]

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Postby creature » Wed Nov 05, 2008 4:49 pm

Hi Beantighe.

I was brought up as a Jehovahs Witness and look at me now a full on Pagan Witch!!!

I have to say that I still carry baggage from it because you are so sheltered within the community. Only dating and having friends that are JW.

I left the religion when I was 23, 10 years ago also disfellowshiped (which will scar me forever). I was taught that pagans are evil and from the devil. Duh! It was only 5 yearss ago I met a witch and found her to be the opposite of what I was told as a JW. As I started to feel drawn to learn more I couldnt belive how miseducated I had been. I am now certain that this is the right path and I couldnt be happier. Although because I am solitary as a pagan, I do miss group gatherings. Thats why I love this forum and cant wait for the gathering.

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Postby Kas » Wed Nov 05, 2008 10:47 pm

My friend at school was a JW and brought up in a strict household. I went for my tea once and was asked by one of her six year old twin sisters did I believe in evolution. I felt like a scared rabbits caught in headlights because they all stopped eating and stared at me waiting for my response. To be honest, because I'd never even heard of JW's until meeting Esther I sat there trying to remember if they did or didn't :shock: I fumbled my way through it, to my shame now, saying no I didn't think so, and they seemed happy with that because they carried on eating and chatting while I was left wondering what had just happened. Esther ran away a few times, usually ended up at ours in the night. Then she was banned from seeing me, because her dad said I was demonised. :evil: :lol: I had pictures of rock bands on my wall and that's what did it! It's sad, but I don't see her anymore. On a brighter note, my Samhain was interesting, Samlesbury Hall near Preston. I got a lot of orb like things on my pics, I know Greymalkin will say they're dust :lol: and I've tried to explain away them myself with reflection of flash and the like, but the fact is I have orbs on lots of the pics taken inside and outside on quite a few of them. I haven't got a set of photos like them. I'll try to figure out how to put pics on here so you can see. :D
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Postby Beantighe » Thu Nov 06, 2008 12:08 am

That's really interesting, Creature and Kaz. I'd really like to talk to someone like you two who have got an insight into the JW thing - survivors, if you like. I was always afraid of them, and although John isn't one, his late parents were, and he's only hinted at a lot of things, saying only that his father in particular was a bit of a fanatic. Yet because this is a Samhain thread, I feel that maybe a new thread should be started to discuss this.

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Postby Greymalkin » Thu Nov 06, 2008 3:17 am

What is this phobia about going off topic?

If conversation has to stick to just one topic then it very quickly becomes stale and boring.

Conversation should be allowed to organically flourish in whatever direction it wants to take.

What's so wrong with going off topic anyway?
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Postby kit » Thu Nov 06, 2008 9:48 am

Nothing wrong at all, Greymalkin. Of course it happens naturally. It's just that often, especially when this forum began, people would completely change the subject which would then develop into something very interesting indeed. But anyone coming into the forum who was new or had missed a few days couldn't see what was being discussed by the title of the thread. So we decided ages ago to try to broadly stick to what the original post was about, and if we found we were really diverting away from that, we'd start a new topic with a title that told people what was being discussed, as it may be something of interest to them. See what I mean? It's only to help people navigate their way around the forum and dip into subjects they find interesting, not as a petty restriction or anything like that. You know us - we hate rules!! But we also want to make the forum work well. :D There are so many posts and it's mostly so interesting, but unless you can visit every day you quickly lose track of everything. The topic titles are just there to help. Hope that clarifies? :D
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Postby Greymalkin » Thu Nov 06, 2008 12:04 pm

Yes of course Kit, another forum I am a member of comes down on you like a ton of bricks if you go off topic and dishes out warnings if you do it too often (needless to say I have a mile long list of warnings) and I would hate to see the same kind of thing happen here.
Last edited by Greymalkin on Thu Nov 06, 2008 2:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby kit » Thu Nov 06, 2008 1:19 pm

Absolutley, Greymalkin! I'd hate the Stonewylde forum to become like that. As I said, I think we're all a bunch of rebels here and we'd kick against petty rules and regulations. It's only to make the whole thing work better that we try to vaguely keep to the subject, or if not, start a new thread (as dear Creature has with the JW thing). Glad you understand, because honestly we're not into thought police stuff here one little bit! :D
Oh and PS - you may have noticed that I'm one of the very worst at going off-topic!! :oops:
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